Hello my beautiful beings of love and light. Had something that for the last couple of days has kept coming through, and that is the whole Me Too subject. When everyone was putting focus on Trump, I knew that I’m a powerful creator and everything that I put focus on is to add to that creation. I really chose to not put any focus on Trump and so I’ve seen this come up; first off this is such a beautiful beautiful thing to become seen. And I’ve had so many people are feeling so much energy in the field because of this.
[00:01:27] There’s a lot of heavy energy in the field because you guys might have noticed all the things going on in the world bringing up a lot of the collective consciousness, a lot of the feeling the collective consciousness, a little bit greater of fear, lack, scarcity, and worry. We’re just feeling this heavy energy. And so it’s awesome that what we’re what’s happening with this shift, what’s happening in my personal you know intuition and the things that I’ve seen and been told and been given, is that we’re shifting from fourth dimension to fifth dimension. There’s this massive shifting happening in the world where we’re finally getting to take full responsibility of how we’ve acted as a humanity, how we how we’ve created our species to operate with each other, we’ve operate in a place of separation- “This is mine, that’s yours”, and this is exactly why we’ve created the patterns of behaviors that this is all bringing up: sexual abuse and all these things. And so I really feel like we’re we’re in this shifting stage where we’re getting to look at our deepest core wounds and what is so awesome amazing about that is that we’re seeing them to become our core strengths; your deepest darkest shadows become your greatest strengths, your gifts, because the mess that you call in
[00:02:46] always gets to become your message. The contracts you asked for were given to you to understand all things to become the being of loving life that you are, that you’ve always been. So I just really wanted to bring some energy and attention to this and bring to it some positive light because so much energy is out here right now around this, with everyone’s hands raised. I know my hand raised, starting at the age of four years old- which I’m happy to share with you guys- how I saw these abusive things, how we correlate these traumas, how they’ve correlated to our limiting beliefs, how they correlated to our limiting experiences, and how they’ve held us playing small; how they’ve kept us afraid to shine so bright and afraid to be big and huge and expansive. Because here we have these experiences where it’s like: We’ll be attacked, or :I’ll be hurt or: It’s not safe to be attractive, it’s not safe to be seen, it’s not safe to be heard, and I had all of those myself and I got to work through those. So this is kind of what I’m wanting to really chat about.
How do we not just bring awareness to this energy- and it’s such a beautiful thing that everyone is standing up and saying that this is what our society has been operating, these are the things that we’ve been to hush hush to talk about. Years ago we’ve come from a place of acting so prim and proper to where then it was all acceptable to wear shorts and tank tops, and to use different kinds of languages, we became more free and more accepting, and more loving. There’s always been these things that say: let’s not talk about sex, let’s not talk about abuse, let’s not talk about even our shadows and our stories. One of the greatest things for me was the freedom I found in sharing my full story. I was like: Well now there’s nothing for me to be afraid of anymore, anything to hide, because before we would be like: Oh I wouldn’t want people to find this out about me because what would they think? And we’ve been trained to think that we must wear a mask to be accepted and loved.
And when I realized that seeking full transparency is neither hiding and it’s like there’s nothing to hide and there’s nothing to prove. I’m free. I’m so free and I like living in full authenticity and vulnerability so that’s what I see for our beautiful society: we’re looking around and going: Hey it’s safe for me to raise my hand too. It’s safe for me to say: hey you know what? I experience this too and let’s bring awareness and let’s bring some light to this. What comes with that can make you feel like a very heavy victim mentality or a victim of circumstance or sometimes we look at some of these situations that are shared. I remember reading one of my good friends, she’s a beautiful powerful influence and something happened to her when she was 7 years old, and we could look at that and go: How how could you ever know and how could we keep that from happening? Because in every circumstance and situation, from a little child choosing to do something that actually can create abuse to also an adult creating abuse we can look at these from all ways. So it’s beautiful that we’re bringing some authenticity and vulnerability to to it. And sometimes people can feel like: all it brings for a lot of people who don’t move through it consciously and seeing all sides of it and seeing it for what it is what we see is more like evidence that the world’s scary, the world is not a safe place. No matter what I do and no matter where I go it’s going to go I’m going to be abused and it doesn’t matter if I’m beautiful or if I’m this or that.
So my intention of this, and what I’ve really been just feeling some inspiration on the last couple of days is offering a solution around this and also bringing voice that we’re all feeling this massive heavy energy. There is a lot going on in the field and we’re all feeling this presence to our shadows and how we operate as a human society. And so again one thing that I want to bring presence to is in our participation in this, where it is a clear saying: I fully am exposed, fully vulnerable and transparent, this is my experience and this is what I choose to do with it. This is what I learned from it, this is my contribution from it. This is my feedback from it because we’re all kind of asking for the light to be shined on sexual abuse and you know just abuse in general and in some of these things if we said let’s shine a light on this, everyone in their dog would probably raise their hands too because these are human experiences, right?
I was just kind of evaluating and because I believe in tuning in and sitting with and feeling really divinely in tune and aware of where my energy gets to flow, it’s awesome that this is this is bringing awareness and when we look at all the things we can see them for the good and all the things that are involved in it. It’s like some people would say: you know everyone put so much energy towards Trump. Well what happened. Trump got elected. I was like I have no desire to put any energy towards Trump, what I would put energy towards is what solutions are. You know it’s just like Mother Teresa said: If you invite me to a war rally, I won’t attend but if you invite me to a peace rally I will always come- because she knew that the power of her vibration being focused on something was going to create. And just knowing this, now we can actually see how Trump got elected. If people say that our government screwed and da da da and all these people fall into victimhood. But what actually happened? What did we actually get is the gift from this happening is that people stood up and rose and they said: you know what? We no longer get to just depend on the government, we get to provide as humanity for ourselves, we get to stand for what we believe and not say that one person might be able to make these decisions. We can actually have more of a voice. Let’s look at what happened with 9/11.
I was actually just in New York, went there to do some corporate training and got to play with my little boy for a week. And one of the things he wanted to go see was the 9/11 grounds and the memorial and we got to see the new Oculus that they built in the memorial grounds and going through even feeling that really heavy sad energy. I talked to him about it. We saw our society rally together. We saw people come together in compassion and love and rebuild. And you can look at the same thing with Hitler, all the horrible terrible things that happened there. And the main thing coming together that came from not the stories is that when we see them as we see all sides of it. Also it can give us a better perspective. I believe Trump is there now as one of our greatest saviors. What I mean is that he chose a role, he chose to be an archetype for our society now in this time to call us to experience and see those things, to experience those triggers and call us to act as a greater society. So what’s happening now? Notice this whole massive shift, all these things are happening in energy and around the world and like crazy things with the weather and also now there’s you know from shootings to things popping up where people are just like: Whoa, we’re feeling this rise of what we’ve created from living in the shadows and living in hiding in these places. And it’s calling us as a humanity to rise into something different.
We can only rise in love. Love only gives us more freedom. So the point to this is that when we apply love to this or when we see this for all things, then we can create a solution, move through it, and this is what I really wanted to share. We can now take down and go: Oh, OK so can I take in some of those perceptions around like how some of these heaviest darkest things most of us would look at, our experiences, our shadows our traumas all these experiences and we’d probably be able to say: “I wouldn’t change it because it allowed me to become who I am.” In the experience of it, it doesn’t feel so easy to do that yet when we understand that we get to participate in this in a way of seeing it for what it is, also taking full responsibility, and also how to shift it. But the main point I wanted to bring about is that as we’re all talking about this and we’re sharing this and what’s being seen, my true intention is that when we realize that we’ve been hiding these these experiences, these traumas, we’ve stuffed them and pushed them down. I saw how it sabotaged my body, I didn’t feel safe from the time I was four years old. I had a kidnapping attempt, I had so many kidnapping attempts I didn’t even remember them all.
I remember actually my mom and my sister were out there with me and Legoland and we were playing and we were reminiscing and talking about something and you know I’ve been sharing a lot of shifts and perceptions with my family, a lot of healing with my family, me choosing to not be in a certain religion, and choosing the freedom that I chose. I remember as we were talking just about some experiences where I started to perceive fear from the time I was little, because it was kind of portrayed that the world is scary and people were bad and you know it was it was not trusting. I was a four year old playing outside and a guy pulled up and taking pictures of me and then you know being grabbed when I was 4 years old when trying to walk home from my house. I remember being grabbed almost off my bike when I was little. My sister remembered us walking to piano lessons and these guys pulling up and grabbing me and trying to pull me in the car and I don’t even remember that one and yet those experiences led to rape attempts, the kidnapping attempts, a stalker at age 11.
I was so in fear. I remember going to the gym as I created all the sabotage around my body that was anorexic and bloom because again it’s like I wanted to feel good and look good and feel these things but guess what it, it scared me to death because I felt so unsafe from having being followed from older men and pulling your penis out and just all sorts of things. I was just scared, scared to be seen, scared to express, scared to be heard, scared to move, so I remember even being at the gym and eyed down and literally my whole body would go into fear and I would leave, I would bolt now. Today if you are going to give me a stare down the gym I’m going to look right out and be like “Looks good, doesn’t it? Take a picture”. Because I know I own my value and I own my worth and I know that I am the source of my own experience which means I’m the source of my own safety, I’m the source of my own love, I am the source of my own abundance, I’m the source of every experience and that’s one of the main things that I teach. Applies to guys too. Yeah I teach in my Goddess program, my God Retreat is I am the source of my own experience and until I realize I’m the source of my own safety I was safe in knowing my vibration, what I was attracted you know, what I was attracting, what I was saying and speaking, my environment, all these things that became the source of my own safety. So there’s some points to this yet what I want us to really get to and understand is that the reason we’ve been holding back and playing small is because deep down we have all these traumas that we haven’t voiced, been fully okay with and seen them out of all the love in the life that they are.
You’ll see this shock in levels of incidents in me. I’ve been on the journey of the inner path for 20 plus years. It’s why I do what I do and it’s why I’m teaching and called the good people. And yet I remember doing so many processes of then finding these painful emotions stuck in my body and from these traumas and these experiences just fear in my body, as I’ve done some plant medicines, my body went in like a little girl like shaking teeth, chattering like, like I was in a corner in absolute fear and having these emotional connections stuck in my body. And even with all the work that I did when it shows up in certain points and we get awareness, like ah that’s still there for me to see what else I get to love and see this at a different degree and level. I remember when I first got offered to do national TV and often out of nowhere I woke up one day and I went to stand up and my foot wouldn’t work like I couldn’t put any pressure on my foot, I literally almost fell over. It was so much pain I could even put an inkling of pressure on my feet which makes it like you can’t really walk with only one foot. So it was like I instantly went to my chiropractor and he adjusted it and fixed it and within an hour, the same thing my foot won’t work. Why was it even going physical? It’s emotional. And I went right to going what’s going on, my right foot moving forward to the masculine side the doing energy. And it was like: What am I afraid of moving forward in? And also I connected the dots.If I go on TV my little girl that has a contract with me, my little girl the pre-seven-year-old is the one who’s running your life guys. She’s the one who literally chose the decisions based on your experiences that create your identity and everything that you’re doing you’re operating subconsciously right now. So my little girl had made the contract like “Oh, no. If you’re seen you’re gonna be attacked.”
And I found that that’s what I felt inside, the little girl was like: if you go on TV you’re gonna be seen you’re going to be attacked. Because my entire life I had attacks, I had been in rape attempts, kidnappers, stalkers all sorts of attacks. And so I realized whoa well that’s that’s why I’m still holding or I’m still subconsciously holding. I’m subconsciously afraid of “If I’m seen I’m going to be attacked”. Now if I didn’t stop to actually tune in and see what was going on all I would have created was like more resistance because everything and she said: No no no no do not step out of this comfort zone. This is scary if you step out of his comfort zone you’re going to be attacked you can be hurt. Everything in me: my ego, my little girl, all of that was just trying to protect me.That’s what in the past was our form of protection. That’s what we decided was how we stayed safe; we stayed hidden and we stayed under the radar so that we wouldn’t get attacked. You know it’s really true. And I got to share with my own self, my little girl and say what’s really true. I know that’s what we used to believe but what we understand now and what’s really true is that the more I’m in the light the more I am protected.
The more I stand in the light, the more angels I attract me, the more amazing friends I have in my space, the more the more I am safe by being seen and heard I am safe when I stay here hiding in the shadows: that’s when I’m unsafe. That’s when I am the most susceptible to being hurt and scared. And as I snapped and moved through I healed right away I was good to go. And I move forward reaffirming to myself. That’s right. I’m safe. I found I love to do TV and so many more opportunities came from that. And again, we move through to expand our comfort zone.
Two years ago I was in Vegas to speak and to do some other stuff. And Dallas came out and we ended up saying he wanted to watch this movie maybe about a room and it was about a girl who got abducted, and the guy raped her. She had a baby inside this room and the baby was like five years old and I didn’t even realize we’re watching this movie and I just went into fear. My whole body went into sweats, I cramped up in my stomach. Everything about me was fear and I didn’t realize that was just from watching that and yet how you know how scary I felt how, how there were things inside me that hadn’t gotten to work through fully. And that led me to the next level of me going: “Oh! This is why those things will show up and this is what I can now see and love and accept for me to move through.” So really what I want to bring presence to the beauty of what are we doing about it.
[00:19:54] We realize this is why we as men and women have kept ourselves from receiving opportunities, from receiving the abundance in the worth. If there are these deeper hurts that may not even be connected, we project out and we create resistance. Just like a day or so ago I had a girl telling me that she’s been going through my online stuff and she’s like I’m learning all these things and shifting my life and all my friends’ lives. And she ended up saying she’s like had all these friends, and she recommended me to them. And one girl said that you know she followed me but she got turned off because I talked about how much money I make. And I found that to be really interesting, I was like: oh I remember the day when I was so scared to share that I was making a certain amount of money. I was like: Oh no. And I realized I had belief systems that were like: You don’t do that. That’s prideful, you just don’t share money.You don’t talk about sex, you don’t talk about your issues, you don’t talk about your shadows. And I did call myself and go: wait a minute, why am I afraid to say I make a certain pot of money? And I had a dear friend that actually said to me: you make over a hundred grand. This is when just hit making a hundred grand a month. He’s like: you stand and you tell these women to stand in their full alignment to have the body of health because they’re worthy of that, to have the most epic relationships, because you’re worthy of that to have your bank account booming or all these things. He’s like: but you never really give clarity to people about how much you really make as a single mom. How in the world are you not sharing this? And I realize, am I hurting others by not standing and giving permission to say: Hey if I could do this as a single mom and going through a life of abuse and trauma and all these things and I chose to own my own value and this is how easy it can be when we align to those things.
I’m actually just buying into the story of wearing a mask. Same reason why I feel free to share whatever comes through me is that if I was choosing something different I would just be buying into the story of wearing a mask, to just play safe. “If you just calm down people you’d get more followers, if you just wouldn’t do this, more people would buy into you” and then they’d hear exactly who I am somewhere else and it doesn’t align. I would rather clear that space and know that if it doesn’t fit for you, I’m going to open up the space for who it does fit. I remember that it really scared me to share that, and I had to say: hey this is possible. This is what I’ve been able to create and you can create it too. So if someone is triggered by that… It could be deep down that we’re afraid that if we are making a lot of money that we’re not a good person. I know I had several beliefs connected that same thing, it’s like if we have that and we’re seeing we might be abused. You see how these things can all be connected and that’s why if we don’t heal, it doesn’t mean that it just is showing up in your sex life. You know how you do sex is how you do life, how you do one thing is how you do all things. So it’s not just limiting you in your relationships and your connections. It’s limiting you in everything. Every single aspect.
I realize now as I thought back about all my clients that I’ve worked with, in my masterminds, a lot of people my program, definitely my goddess retreats, where we really lean into the sexual energy and how sexual energy is creation energy. It was in Napoleon Hill’s book. In one of the spaces he said that highly sexual beings, they’re usually entrepreneurs but highly sexual beings, they learn to transmit that energy into creation. Our whole entire society has had this stigma about what’s good and bad and right and wrong even with sex, not speaking it. I remember being raised with this mindset and it was like: I wouldn’t have even said to my husband that: Brad Pitt is hot because it was just like: Oh no you’re the only one. It’s like we suppressed and held everything down. But that’s some good energy, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go fuck the person it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go jump on someone else. It means there’s a polarity of energy which we understand. Our our masculine energy and our feminine energy and creating the polarity of the beautiful ebb and flow, it’s like a figure eight, the give and receive, it is the flow of the universe. So we’re also blocking our sexual energy you are blocking creation. So can you see how if you have sexual fears, traumas, abuse from the past that we haven’t healed all we are doing is holding ourselves in the comfort zone. First off, how can you ever get to a place of having the most open, vulnerable, beautiful, authentic love relationship that is just safety and support. It’s a space of love, support, and acceptance. Not to mention epic, passionate, amazing sex because we’re so scared of these traumas and how that is also affecting your business, your creation, how you are in your job, anything that is in creation. Energy is being seen, being heard, being expressed. So if we shine our light on the world on another aspect I’m sure everyone would raise their hand there too, because there’s all these beautiful experiences and realize I call them beautiful experiences. Let’s drop back into how we take a little bit more responsibility for this.
[00:25:44] See this out of the love and light that it is. I’ll give up an example because I always believe in just sharing authentically my experiences and in how I learned through this journey. I remember after I found out that I had a cheating husband, and note that I was raised Mormon, in a very strict religion, and it was like you get married in the temple, and I was a virgin till I was married and it was like: This is what you’re supposed to do for God to love and approve of you. This is what it’s supposed to look like. I’m just supposed to be a mom and I’m supposed to do these things and I remember
[00:26:19] the first time I found out that my former cheated on me and there was only this blame shame, you know “victimhood” feeling, like the first thing that came up for me was: how am I going to take care of my kids? I realized I was literally in a go through the motions pattern of life because I was just in survival because I was just acting in the mask and operating and everything that I’m supposed to do. And as I opened my eyes more and walked down my journey more I realized I was one I was like: Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Wow, what have I been saying since before I even got married? It was the programming going on in my brain that I got to take full responsibility of. I used to think that: Oh if I’m always a perfect mom and the perfect wife my husband will always love me, appreciate me, and never cheat on me.
[00:27:17] So I realized I attracted and I chose a man who I felt like: oh you know if I choose this, what felt like more of a safety net for me, than I’ll never be cheated on. That was my baseline. And again notice all my abuse that I’d experienced, all the rape attempts to kidnappers to the stalkers. I was just so desperate for safety and because that’s what I was vibrating, that’s what I got to attract even though it looked safe on the outside. I attracted a cheating husband because that’s exactly what I was afraid of experiencing and I was so focused on not experiencing because that’s what my words were saying. That’s what my thoughts were afraid of. That’s what I was always striving to be good enough, I was wearing a mask and I looked like the perfect wife. I remember going into his store (he was actually a restaurant manager) with my babes – my kids were only 1 and 4 when I found this out and got divorced- and how his employees were like teenagers and said things like: that is not your wife, that can not be your wife, not your wife. And he was like yes it is. I was like if I look perfect and I am perfect I’ll always be safe.
I was so desperate to be safe but who was controlling my safety? I was. I was the only one that was responsible for my safety. I was the only one that could give me safety and I had to go through first taking radical responsibility of what I was choosing. I could see how I could understand how from the time when I was 4 years old starting to have experiences of abuse and it happening my entire life I could fully understand why that was my perception of how life had to be, of how I had to stay safe. There’s a couple of things. I just did a video actually in my best life tribe yesterday I was driving and I felt like this was kind of coming up all this Me Too stuff and I realized one of the aspects we don’t do is we don’t claim our anger around it. We don’t actually claim the anger we feel, the abuse we feel, because again we’ve been taught to suppress even our anger. So you get all this abuse and then we get taught to suppress it. It’s a lot of times where we kind of validate and just just ignore that and we don’t ever actually get out any of that emotional energy. This is adding to the blockage, the ability to not even have been able to speak about. It is adding to what we’re doing now. But now we’re kind of adding this heavy energy and so we work through this.
I chose this. Now I know this can be really challenging for when you look at it. Again I was seeing what one of my dear friends posted, you know seeing several of them. Oh my gosh. Some of the most beautiful amazing friends and all of them all of them experience sexual abuse and physical abuse and verbal abuse and all sorts of things. I did some noticing again and across the board as a humanity we can go: Whoa, this is happening, let’s shine some light on this so that we can transmit it from darkness to light by realizing that as a species we’ve treated each other in separation. OK, so we’ve been operating as a human species in separateness. I’m separate from you. This is mine, that’s yours. When we have that, there is a separation from even abuse towards each other. Now one of my favorite books if you guys get a chance to listen to something that’s that’s one of my absolute favorites, is the Conversations with God awaken the species. It’s like it is finally fuckin time for this kind of information to be available again. This is why all of these things are happening. The time period is happening where all this is coming up. It’s finally being spoken where everyone’s like: yep abuse, abuse, abuse, where in the past I’ve been like: “Oh I would never tell anyone that I had abuse.”
Now all said it’s like we’re speaking this understanding and looking at what how we have been operating. And so in this book he calls them HEBS (Highly Evolved Beings) meaning other evolutionary species that are way more evolved than us can even have the thought of hurting one another because they see themselves as one. Because if you are one. This is what we’re really experiencing, we’re in an interdependent energy. So the first level of consciousness we do this thing where it’s codependent. So it’s the belief system, we are taught that you plus me equals one. I’m really about to burst some of your bubbles that are still maybe thinking that that’s how it operates. You’re a broken half and I’m a broken half, we’re codependent broken halves together, we’re whole, and it’s just two broken halves bouncing off of each other and they’re limiting patterns and co-dependency patterns. Yeah that’s the first level conscious it’s like a co-dependency. When we operate and we step up into understanding and seeing things through the second level of consciousness, we see it through the eyes of independence. Also we’re taking full ownership. It’s like: Cool. How do I become the source of my own experience? I become the source of my own safety. I know I’m the creator of my world. So yeah we step into this independence but then what I what I saw would happen. And this is why I got inspired several years ago to start my Goddess Retreats, because I see women be like: fine fuck you I’m independent I don’t need you I need your penis and I don’t need I don’t need your money, now or anything. And it’s awesome that we’re standing in power to go: Cool, I’m the source of my own wealth and the source my own strength but it doesn’t come from a place of like “I’m afraid of you and I don’t need you”, it actually blocks more possibility. This is just like when we go to think that hey it’s gotta look this way, like business has to look this way, how I create money, I look this way, relationships are this way.
[00:32:52] Again from our beliefs in our programming what you’re doing it’s like you’re a horse wearing blinders. And all it can see is the little step in front of him.
[00:33:09] We when we actually go “What else is possible?”, we open up the entire fucking multiverse to infinite possibility to deliver the ways that we of creating it for ourselves right. And what I would teach my women and my badass brothers that I get to work with is the third level of consciousness of interdependence. Because there has never been anything but one energy. So we’ve been lying to ourselves to think that we’re separate.You and I are an energy that we share, we share an energy with the plants that we utilize, and the guy on the ground, we share energy with all things. There is energy in all things, we are vibrational beings, so that’s why we’re all feeling this, as we’re all bringing this up and we’re talking about all this heavy energy, we’re seeing all this fear come up in the world, of all the things shifting and changing, and we’re looking at how have we been operating as humanity? No wonder the shit is hitting the fan. The universe is like: you can no longer operate and survive as a species when you’re operating at this level of behavior and consciousness towards each other.
So what causes forth to rise is these traumas and these experiences that say: Whoa whoa whoa, this isn’t working. We’ve got to find a different way of operating as a species in humanity and coming to oneness, coming to that wholeness, and that’s why when we can drop it back now, and look at this and say: OK so if I know that I look at these experiences that I had and I can say you know what? It might be hard to say. I remember someone start being abused at two by her own father and as I was doing couple work with her and her boyfriend he’s like: I just don’t get it. How can anyone ever validate you know abusing a 2 year old? And it was really hard to look at. How could I how could I say that I chose this? Because you know at that age are we conscious of the world? I could say as an adult: I was like whoa I realize how I’ve been saying if I ever get cheated on and I’m looking for that and I’m afraid of that. And it started way back when I was little. Yeah it’s a little bit more challenging if it starts at 2 years old or 4 years old. I was just a beautiful divine little being. And the thing that I would contribute beyond that is to realize when we look at how we are so much bigger and greater than this human body right now, than this human brain. I always refer to my human brain as my silly human brain. What is really true? Who am I really? And when we realize that we’re way beyond this we actually chose in on this as our human experience. So I chose in on this human experience to have all of these different emotions. I look at my experience with my former and again I call my what most people refer to as their “ex” I say former, because it’s a positive energy there’s no “ex” about it there’s no “ex-ing” him out of my life, there’s no negativity about it. He’s just my former love and and as I looked at and I took full responsibility.
[00:36:49] What’s really true for me what resonates for me and the healing that I found is that my former was one of my very best friends. And you could call it in heaven, you could call it where you create your contracts and records, the universe, higher self, whatever you could call it in the space between our lifetimes and our worlds or whatever you choose is that I knew that in this human experience there were things that I wanted to learn and understand. As divine beings who know, we literally can create effortlessly. There is nothing separating us from anything we physically want to manifest into form. If everything is you know pixie dust and fairy tales and rainbows, it’s kind of hard to wrap our head around what shame energy feels like, and what you know you know different pains are, what different experiences are, even what forgiveness was. I know I was like: well you know what I don’t even understand what this thing forgiveness really is. What is unconditional forgiveness and love?
[00:37:49] How do you get there? What what does that even feel like? And I can see my former as being one of my very best friends that chose in on that experience with me here, to give me that beautiful gift of understanding. To the point that almost every time I talk about it I literally tear up and I cry out of pure appreciation and gratitude, that the being that I am now in the life I live now is because he stepped in with that experience to give me that gift. So even if it’s a challenge to go: Well how did I attract this and speak this and look for this and believe this? How was I vibrating or how was I calling in and taking responsibility of the experiences that I had? And this might trigger people. I mean the other day someone was like you know seeing as: Oh this is shaming and blaming women into seeing why they had the experience. What we really get to do is we get to honor and love that we all have these experiences and we get to get some feedback and understanding as to why and know that we can now change them instead of just saying: it was never your fault. We’re saying how did I contribute to this? How do I see the world now? So now even let’s go back to that to that four year old. I’m not sure why that happened at that age or how that could have come into my space, yet I can trust and believe that I know everything happens for me. Nothing happens to me. Everything happens for me and obviously if I am the creator, it’s so effortless to create that everything I’m thinking, I’m looking for, I’m speaking, manifest into form, there’s a reason why I chose and contracted even previously to have that experience to allow me to be who I am now, and I’ve done a lot of sexual abuse healing work not only for myself but for clients as well. I know one who had been abused, he was four years old and again was just like every time we looked at it as it had been done to him, it couldn’t be healed. But the moment he saw it as “I chose in on this”, he saw that and he looked for the reasons around it. Wow. Because this happened then later that happened.
[00:40:05] I stepped up and then that ended up stopping it over here, and there’s a reason why it happened to me. There’s a reason why I had those experiences. So you know, it can be scary for a lot of individuals who might not have this understanding to just look at as a society how all these things have happened in all this dark energy.
[00:40:26] What I really believe is possible now is that we can all begin to operate in a humanity where we share all things, meaning like there is nothing to hide, and there’s nothing to prove. We can operate in pure transparency and pure authenticity and pure vulnerability. And when I learned years ago that vulnerability was the greatest gift I could ever give anyone, instead of me being like: oh I want to hide and pretend because I want them to like me. I noticed this, I’m really struggling with this, and this is you know this is really what I want to choose for myself. I’d love support here and there was no hiding and shame. It allowed them to go: Wow. I’m certain with that too. It’s like a gift we give other people, a freedom to just not be wearing a mask, and all the energy that’s released with that. So I hope that from this we can all again be awesome that we’re talking about this. And how do we start to heal these wounds and now move forward operating as a species and seeing ourselves out of love and light and oneness,
[00:41:26] would we be choosing the same behaviors? We can start to see these behaviors and instead of looking as :well, this is just a dark society like there’s so many people that are going to be abusive. We’ve all experienced abuse. It’s like actually what if this is one of our greatest gifts of growth? That it’s such a vulnerable space. I know for me my sexual challenges or the sexual traumas and those things that I went through, feeling attacked, as I dug in and did more and more work. Through the layers, the subtle energy showed up. It allowed me to find lifetimes of connections of sexual slavery, sexual abuse, and all these things that so many of us are raising our hands for.
[00:42:06] What if we actually saw it as a commonality of one of the greatest trials we could ever experience to give us our freedom, to understand what it feels like for someone to feel powerless or feel unsafe and to feel vulnerable and know that I would always choose to honor other people. And that I can take full responsibility of communicating and sharing, and mainly men and women honoring each other. There’s a reason why it’s all coming up is so we can rise in our humanity together to create a different experience and a different story.
[00:42:42] And we get to heal the wounds that we have. As I was tuning into this I saw that: wow this has been a huge part of what I’ve done. It actually inspired me and I’m going to throw a one day mini goddess event at my house. This one’s going to be only for women .I know that men have dealt with this abuse as well. And obviously I know that half my clients are men, and I love working with the badass beautiful men that I get to work with as well. Normally I’ll do one goddess retreat once a year because I have my essential adventures, I have my personal clients, and my boys, I have a very balanced life that I’m harmonic life, a life of harmony that I’m committed to. And this all coming up and showing us that this is why I’ve been playing small, because I saw how I was afraid to get on TV because I thought I was gonna be attacked.
[00:43:43] I was afraid to be attractive and be seen at the gym because I was afraid that something scary that would come of it. And in many ways we’ve learned to stifle our voices. We’ve learned to not express, we’ve learned to not be heard, to not be seen, and to sabotage our bodies, and to create disease and sickness and dysfunction inside our souls, because we’re holding all of this, all of this as a byproduct of these traumas that correlate to this. And so I would love to rock a bunch of women through breaking through these blocks really quickly, because there is so much power in you learning to transmute the pain into power. We get to transmute the darkness into light and that is what it’s there for; it’s our greatest gift so that we can catapult into sharing the messages and the freedom. And I see this massive surge as, it’s like this is all coming up and all this heavy energy, and we as leaders and influencers and the people, we get to show how we get to create something different, we’ve chosen it in our lives to create something different. How do we as a humanity bring everyone to feel this and move through this and create something different?/ And I see this huge surge of just the magic happening in our world from leaders stepping up and being like: no longer do I need to hold that blockage inside me. I’ve transmuted that bitch into light. It is actually my source of power. It is my source of greater expression.
Something I always say is: “How you choose to respond is what you get next.” With the triggers and the core wounds that want to show up, I am like: this is another layer because I know that core wound gets to be transmuted into my greatest core strengths, and when I feel like I get bitch slapped I remind myself I’m like: That’s right. I’m breathing and I’m leaning into this feeling, I’m feeling this fully and this is going to catapult me into my next level of receiving more love, more abundance, to be able to express even bigger, to be an even greater, bigger light for this world, for my calling here. My experiences here, for me to live in more passion and play, and all of it and this beautiful gift of service with one another, in this interdependence that we have, there can be no lack. There can be no scarcity. There can be no sickness or disease when we align to oneness as humanity, and you align to your divinity, your core truth knowing who you are in this remembrance that can only magnify all of your light being given to others. That is when we get rid of poverty consciousness and lack and all those things, which is all man made.
[00:46:33] It’s all human made! By a silly human brain.
[00:46:36] It’s how we get rid of sickness and disease because is it’s all negative emotional memory inside us, the way to actually rise together is to rise in love and you can only do that by rising in love with yourself and rising in that empire you (I always call it an empire). Some people are having negative correlations with the word “empire”, and I’m like: You know what good you can do when you create an empire? When you create that you’re worthy of that million dollar plus empire, and have abundance in all aspects of your life your being? You have a massive amount of good that you’re giving out to the world, because all those things are just a reflection of how much good you are, how much value you’re giving to the world and it first starts with healing these wounds within ourselves. I just decided that I gotta download the inspiration I saw it here at my house. I was like one day as many goddess, beautiful beings, we have as possible we’re going to rock through healing these traumas and aligning, to standing as a source of your own experience and the source of your own safety and the source of your own abundance and the source of your own love, and utilizing this interdependent energy with the multiverse to be able
[00:47:43] to magnify all that we are. I just want to be able to support that this is where I feel called to be able to do a massive amount of support right now, for all this heavy energy and all the shifting in the world, and how we take that energy. Then the more you know how to do this, you get to share it with others as well and you get to be that brighter light so I would love to hear from you guys if you have any other questions on this.
[00:48:23] If you have any specific questions please message me, please move forward in some way of getting to look at all this beauty that we’re sharing and as you now see these things come up, how can you add value to them in the feedback of how we get to create more change, and how we get to create a solution.
[00:48:42] So thank you guys for the love and adoration, all the hearts and as I just kind of turn it on and I choose to do what’s coming through but this is massive. We’ve been coming through so I hope this will shed some light on how we can heal what we’ve experienced and how we can now share that with our brothers and sisters as this energy is here and we can transmit this heavy energy into clearing energy and light energy, and one real quick thing this reminds me of. I have the magical manifestation mansion here I’m just hanging out you and when I first took over this house we felt so much crazy negative energy in the space, we were grid activating it, and clearing it, and doing all these things and my nanny even found a voodoo doll and what was beautiful as I was like:
[00:49:34] Wow, we got to change that energy and when you take dark energy and you transmute it into light energy, it is the most powerful fucking energy that exists. It’s taken the shadow and this is why you transmuting your shadows into your greatest gifts allows it to come through you, and there is there’s only infinite possibility because you’ve been in the darkest shadows and you see that out of love and light and that can only serve you and it no longer has to limit or hurt you. So we really get to take these things from the traumas correlating to our limiting situations, and we get to allow them to become our greatest powers and learning to turn our pain into power. So I truly hope that some of you that are getting to read can share this if you feel like there’s something that I can assist and serve, that has maybe shared their Me Too-s or shared their abuse, and I’m happy to give recommendations on some different aspects and different things that can be really good insights into starting to heal these processes as well.
[00:50:30] And I look forward to hearing as all of you guys continue to share this beautiful experiences that you’re having and changing them into light.
[00:50:36] So I love you guys! Choose your best life. Have an awesome wonderful day. Love you.